Fractured
by SavannahLynnXoXo
Summary: One-shot from Edward's POV from when he leaves Bella! Let me know if you want me to continue! Rated T just in case, NO LONGER A ONE-SHOT! I'm continuing it, due to popular demand of a continuation
1. Leaving an Angel

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

_EPOV_

I walked Bella to her truck, steeling myself for what was to come later tonight. "Do you mind if I come over today?" I asked before we reached her truck.

My voice was urgent. I couldn't drag this out much longer. Preparing myself was hard enough.

"Of course not." Bella's voice soothed me. I didn't want to leave her. I couldn't leave her. Yet, I had to.

"Now?" I asked, as I opened the door for her. Bella eyed me quickly. She could probably sense my urgency. I acted as if I hadn't seen her every movement. Watching every step she takes would ruin this act of indifference and distance.

"Sure," her voice was even. Maybe I was just being paranoid about leaving her. "I was just going to drop a letter for Renee in the mailbox on the way. I'll meet you there."

I looked at the envelope in the passenger seat. It was big; I eyed it, trying to figure out the contents. I reached over and grabbed it instantly.

"I'll do it." I was quiet as I spoke. I was afraid to talk loudly, leaving my Bella was so painful, and I couldn't let it show. "And I'll still beat you there." I smiled crookedly. She says it's her favorite way I smile. I looked at her rearview mirror, my eyes still looked pained.

There are days Bella is intuitive, and she can see things like that. I hoped today was different.

"Okay." She agreed. She didn't smile back though. I shut her door and headed toward the Volvo.

I started thinking of what I was going to say to her as I drove to the post office, then to her house.

What does one say when he is saying goodbye to an angel?

How am I going to say goodbye to her, her blushes, her racing heartbeat when she's around me, her inability to remember breathing just because I kissed her. How can I leave all this?

I beat her home, and I parked in her driveway, awaiting her arrival. It was amazing I was able to keep from shaking as she pulled up in her truck. I watched her take a deep breath. She was intuitive today; she knew I didn't plan to stay long.

How was I supposed to tell her once I left I was not coming back?

As she stepped out of the cab of her truck, I stepped out of the Volvo. I met with her, took her book bag, and set it on the seat. Her expression told me she knew I was acting different.

I had to try so hard to keep my voice from shaking. "Come for a walk with me." I suggested my voice stoic. I couldn't allow emotion. I would break down.

I took her hand and she didn't protest. I yearned to hear her thoughts. What she thought. Did she know something was wrong? Was I just being paranoid?

I didn't wait for an answer either. I pulled, nearly dragged her toward the east side of her yard, opposite the "sun", or the closest thing to one here in Forks. I pulled her to where the forest opened.

I had led her only a few steps into the trees when I stopped. I needed to make sure she could still see the house. I knew she wouldn't handle this well. She needed to be able to find her way home.

I leaned against a tree. It kept me from falling to my knees. I stared at her, making sure she couldn't read my face. I would give too much away.

"Okay, let's talk." She tried to sound brave.

I took a deep breath, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Bella, we're leaving." I said it. I grasped the tree as Bella took a deep breath as well. As she exhaled, I grasped the tree tighter, keeping myself from hugging Bella and apologizing for even thinking of leaving.

I knew she was going to ask her next question. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to accept the fact I was leaving. "Why now? Another year—"

I forced myself to remain unemotional. "Bella, it's time. How much longer could we stay in Forks, after all? Carlisle can barely pass for thirty, and he's claiming thirty-three now. We'd have to start over regardless."

I watched Bella's face twist in confusion. I had confused myself. We could easily stay until June, when Bella graduates. I wouldn't… I couldn't show my confusion. I couldn't let her know of my pain.

She stared at me as her face twisted into deeper confusion. I assumed she was trying to understand me. I didn't want her to understand. I wanted her to accept my answer. I stared back at her coldly.

Her voice was barely whisper as her pale skin started to grow a hint of green. I realized then she misunderstood me. "When you say _we_—"

"I mean my family and myself." I articulated each word. Separately and distinctly. Articulation helped control the tone.

Her head shook back and forth, like a robot or some machine. I waited patiently. Her answer took a few minutes, and it felt like years. I wish I could spend the rest of my years with my angel. I really truly do. I couldn't do that to her though, I couldn't put her life in danger.

Her answer was not what I wanted. "Okay, I'll come with you."

I came up with an excuse quickly. It wasn't the most effective, but I hoped it would keep her at bay. "You can't Bella. Where we're going… It's not the right place for you." Concern, the first emotion I've shown today.

My excuse only riled her up more. "Where you are is the right place for me." I wished she would give up. I'm dangerous. I can't put her life in danger any longer.

"I'm no good for you, Bella." I was too dangerous for her. I had to repeat this in my head multiple times, so I wouldn't give in and stay, just to make her happy.

"Don't be ridiculous." She begged me to stay. I think she was attempting anger, which would be better than begging. It broke my heart for her to beg. "You're the very best part of my life."

I really wished she hadn't said that. I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve to be the best part of anyone's life. I was a soul-less monster.

"My world is not for you." I was grim. The more I let the negative emotions take over my voice, the stronger I felt. No matter what though, I couldn't help but feel my cold, dead heart breaking.

"What happened with Jasper—that was nothing, Edward! Nothing!" She was fighting the urge to cry. She probably didn't even realize it yet. I didn't want to make her cry. I wanted her safe.

However, her words triggered a new set of feelings for me. "You're right. It was exactly what was to be expected." When was she going to get that we were dangerous?

"You promised! In Phoenix, you promised that you would stay—" I couldn't tell if she was angry of on the verge of tears any longer.

"As long as that was best for you." I corrected her. I wasn't the best for her. Mike Newton or Jacob Black were better for her. Well, not Black, because nobody is safe with mongrels like him and his family.

"_No! _This is about my soul isn't it?" Yeah, she wasn't only angry, she was furious. Her words basically exploded out of her. Yet, she still was begging. I couldn't help but grab the tree with all my might. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you—it's yours already!"

I really wished she hadn't said that. I took a deep breath and stared at the ground. I relaxed my grip on the tree. My mouth twisted, but I composed myself. I could not show emotion and my pain. I could not let her be hurt because of me and my own pain. I looked up and her, truly composed. I let my eyes form into hard, topaz gems as I gazed upon my angel.

I had to lie, it was the only thing I could do to keep her safe. "Bella, I don't want you to come with me." I spoke slowly, trying to convince myself of my words. I couldn't though, no matter how hard I tried. I wouldn't ever _not_ want Bella.

I watched her face as she absorbed the content of my words. I could tell by the way her face twisted that she was trying to dig deeper.

She figured out what my lie was, although she thought they were the truth. Her eyes and face were filled with confusion as she spoke her words. "You… don't… want me?"

"No." I was blatant about it. I wished she would see beyond my eyes, and see my lie. She stared into my eyes. I stared back, no apology showing. I couldn't allow it. I was placing too many restrictions on myself, but it was necessary to keep my Bella alive.

"Well, that changes things." Her voice was surprisingly calm. Did she really accept it that quickly. I doubted how much she loves me. How can any person similar to Bella accept that? Then again, Bella isn't similar to anyone.

I looked away from her, unable to look at her any longer without letting dry sobs approach. All lies, why couldn't she see this? "Of course, I'll always love you… in a way. But what happened the other night made me realize that it's time for a change. Because I'm… _tired_ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human." I tried to prove that as I looked back her. Of course, my perfect facial features confirmed that. I continued to lie. I couldn't believe my voice was so calm. "I've let this go on much too long, and I'm sorry for that." I wasn't sorry. I love her, I want to be with her. I want her. Why couldn't she see that.

"Don't." Her voice was only a whisper. My broken heart broke even further. "Don't do this."

I stared at her. I tried looking through her, letting distance approach. I had to have made the decision to leave. I needed to protect her.

"You're not good for me, Bella." I realized I had turned my words around. If she were to ask, I had an argument backed up for that.

I shouldn't have said that. I knew she would take it that I meant she wasn't good _enough_ for me. I could see it in her eyes. One of the first days I met her, she had mentioned Renee told her that Bella was an open book. That was definitely proven today. The ultimately worst day of my life.

She opened her mouth to say something. I waited in patience, wiping my face of emotion. I couldn't bear to see her pain.

"If… that's what you want."

I nodded. "I would like to ask one favor, though, if it's not too much trouble." I had to make a request. Something flickered across her face, and I noticed the same emotion flicker in mine responsively. I quickly composed my face into the mask I've been wearing for the past few days.

"Anything." Her voice grew stronger, just barely though.

I let my eyes melt. Emotion didn't matter anymore. I "didn't want" her, or so she thought. I told her I loved her in a way… I could request one little thing. My eyes bore into hers intensely.

My voice almost shook. "Don't do anything reckless or stupid." I ordered, the distance and detachment closing instantly. "Do you understand what I'm saying?" I couldn't live if she was hurt or, worse, dead because I wasn't here.

She nodded in response.

I let the distance return. "I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself—for him." For me, I couldn't bear to see you dead, Bella. I would think I had killed an angel.

She nodded. "I will." She was whispering again.

I relaxed. Barely, but just enough.

This part was the hardest. "And I'll make you a promise in return. I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." I repeated those words in my head. _It will be as if I'd never existed._ She would always exist in my head. My love, my angel, my Bella.

She didn't need me though, she could move on without me.

Her knees started shaking, and I heard her blood coursing through her veins.

I smiled gently, trying to calm her. "Don't worry, you're human—your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind." Time would not heal this day. Time would preserve this day just to torment me.

"And your memories?" She asked, she sounded like she was choking.

"Well"—I hesitated.—"I won't forget. But _my_ kind… we're very easily distracted." I smiled, but I was wondering where the hell that had come from. Since when was I ever distracted from Bella since I met her? I didn't let my smile touch my eyes though. It would be impossible, because I didn't know what there was to smile about.

I took a step away, before I give in to her pounding heartbeat. "That's everything, I suppose. We won't bother you again."

She caught the plural. "Alice isn't coming back."

I don't know if I actually heard her, but I knew that's what she was trying to convey. I shook my head slowly, watching her face intently. Her face was my way into her mind.

"No. They're all gone. I stayed behind to tell you goodbye." They had debated that. They didn't even want to leave. .

Her voice was blank. "Alice is gone?" she was shocked.

I told the truth, to a point. "She wanted to say goodbye, but I convinced her that a clean break would be better for you." I had not convinced her. Her and I got into a screaming match, our worst fight. It was too the point that Jasper, Carlisle, and Emmett had to basically lift her up and take her to the car.

Bella's breathing became erratic. I wanted to comfort her.

"Goodbye, Bella." I was quiet, peaceful, hoping to calm her.

"Wait!" she reached out to me. I quickly pinned her wrists to her sides. I leaned down and kissed her forehead, not having the will to kiss her lips.

"Take care of yourself." I breathed. Then I ran off into the distance. Away from my life. My soul mate, my angel, my Bella.

I left my one, only, and final chance at love. I ran to the Volvo and drove off, letting the dry sobs burst from me as I went to the airport to meet my family.

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**A/N: Let me know if you like it! This was the very first time I ever tried getting in Edward's head, I hope I did it right! **

**If you really like it, let me know, and I'll continue it! For right now though, it's only a one-shot.**


	2. Screaming Match

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. **

Okay, this chapter is a flashback of Edward and Alice's "screaming match" I had written about earlier. Hope you like it! =)

EPOV

"_Jasper, stop feeling guilty, it was exactly what was to be expected. Well, not exactly __**expected**__." I turned and faced Alice, who was angry at me. _

"_Edward! Stop blaming me! I can't see every little thing that happens in Bella's life for you!" Alice screamed at me. _

"_Little? You think Bella cutting her finger, and me shoving into a pile of broken plates is little? If you had seen that, I could have protected her so much better, Alice!" I was furious. My family being what we are put Bella in danger, and I would never forgive myself for that. _

"_You think I want to see Bella hurt? Edward, she is my little sister in my eyes. I would never intentionally put her life in danger. You read my mind and see my visions all the time. Do you think that is something I would hide from you?" _

"_Well, if it would keep you from your party, I could easily believe that. You could have seen it, then saw me telling you to cancel the party. You wouldn't want that." I rolled my eyes. Alice could be so predictable at times. I can read right through her, without reading her mind. _

_Jasper tried calming me down, and I only growled at him. I was too angry to calm down. _

"_Alice, we're leaving. The entire family. We're leaving Forks. Maybe that will give you less to worry about." _

"_Less to worry about? You don't think I'm going to watch Bella every second?!" _

"_No, you're not! I command you not to!" _

"_Since when can you command me to do anything?" Alice's rage only fueled my anger more. _

"_Since I don't want Bella being anymore involved with us than she already is! If we leave, we don't have anything to worry about! Bella won't have to worry about us ever again! We won't be a bother to her existence!" I went upstairs and slammed my door. This was not a mistake. There was no possible way it could be, this is what is going to keep her safe and alive._

**A/N: Yes, it was short, but I just wanted to post the screaming match I had mentioned earlier. Read and review please! **

**You know you love me.  
XoXo.  
BellaRose/Savannah**


	3. Thoughts and Internal Arguments

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

EPOV (as always, just reminding you)

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I shook the memory of Alice and I fighting from my head. Leaving Bella was best for everyone. It would help Jasper's blood lust, Alice's dependence on other's, Rosalie's hatred for all things living and human.

How would it help Emmett? I wasn't too sure, he loved Bella like he would a real sister. I probably hurt Carlisle and Esme by taking their daughter from them, but I couldn't let Bella be in danger.

But how had I helped myself? I asked myself that question often as I drove on into the open road.

I had left an angel. I left my angel in heaven as I dug myself deeper into the pits of hell. I had enjoyed heaven, but I don't deserve to be there with her.

Bella deserves to have a chance at a normal life.

_But she did have a normal life, in Phoenix._ A side of me said.

_Living with Renee wasn't exactly normal._ The other side said. I couldn't keep the voices out of my head.

_She was safe, we didn't exist to her, if she was in Phoenix, she could believe that we were only myths._

_But who knows if some other vampire could have gotten to her first? What if James and Victoria had traveled to Phoenix in their journeys, and picked up Bella's scent? What if I had never been able to protect her from those men that night in Port Angeles? What if I had not been able to save her from Tyler's van? From her every step that makes her fall?_

_She would be safer dead than with me. I would damn her into a never ending death. Into the hell on Earth. I would damn her into a three day trip to hell, then she would wake up in hell. I would have changed her if I had stayed. I would not want to damn an angel._

These arguments took over my mind most of the day. I would begin composing music in my head, but I often began writing pieces that reminded me of my sweet Bella. I hummed her lullaby to myself. I missed her dearly. I hadn't even been gone a month, and I'm ready to go the Volturi and die.

In the first few weeks, Alice called daily. Soon, I believe she gave up. I was rarely responsive. Bella was the only one on my mind.

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**A/N: Sorry it was rather short, that's how I'm going to probably do most of my chapters…**

**But I just wanted you all to see Edward's mind when he left the same way I did. **

**Review please!  
You know you love me.  
XoXo.  
BellaRose**

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	4. I'm Backk!

I'm BAAAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK

I finished my original work-- 12 chapters-- 41 pages on word.

Now I'm back to . Please excuse me if it takes a while to get used to things, but I'm happy to be back!!

XoXo.

BellaRose/Savannah


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